Don't Make Me Turn This Car Around!

Say the thing that needs to be heard.

No. 003
Wednesday, Nov. 9, 2022

Have you ever been driving down a road, really into jamming out to a song on the radio, when it suddenly hit you—CRAP. I’m going the wrong way!

No? Just me?

When I started setting up the newsletter, I had a vision of what I thought it would look like—witty, interesting, just smart enough to be somewhat cool—but it turns out I don’t like it.

The road is a little too bumpy, the lanes are too narrow, and I don’t recognize any cars around me. I don’t see any road signs confirming I’m going in the right direction, and I have no radio signal. Worst of all, I just ran out of road trip snacks.

Time to turn this car around!

(By the way, I like metaphors. A lot. And I’m talking about my newsletter.)

I’m getting rid of any kind of predetermined format or brand or whatever else I slapped on this weekly letter, and instead, I’m allowing it to be what I meant it to be in the first place—a messy mind dump.

Anyway, you can still expect me on your doorstep every Wednesday, and, true to form, I might sometimes be late, but I’ll always show up.

Stick around? 🤞🤞

erin xo

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Good Things Happen to Babes Who Hustle People

This week’s essay challenges you to think beyond popular trends and be yourself.

The cute little sayings are everywhere.

"Done is better than perfect!"

"Opportunities don't happen, you create them."

"Just do it!"

Watercolor brush strokes and fancy calligraphy and flower doodles adorn these little tropes, reducing any truth within them down to a sickly sweet syrup.

They mean well, I'm sure, the promoters of these cliches. Just encouraging the next generation of daring "boss babes" and would-be world-changers.

But—unpopular opinion time—these words aren't encouraging. In fact, these trite pieces of wisdom, these sweet nothings that fill our social feeds, are harmful.

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Motivational cliches parade in front of us daily, leaving a trail of damage in their wake.

They saunter through our social feeds in their matching outfits and cunning smiles like a group of Mean Girls, making you look at them and make silent comparisons. Suddenly the outfit you painstakingly pieced together, quilting the images and words carefully to convey your brand, doesn't seem so awesome anymore. The hairstyle you loved a moment ago, combed through and pinned carefully to show only the finest content, now feels flat and boring.

These banalities aren't just another body in the lineup of mediocre content that fills our feeds. They aren't just another way for other people to make money. The problem with cliches isn't just that they're annoying. It isn't even that they're redundant or tired.

Their problem is that they create both pressure and complacency at the same time. Instead of inspiring, these little sayings make you feel inadequate and stuck.

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There's a sense of misdirection, a sense of lingering restlessness after you read these ‘motivational’ posts. They're like one of those magazine quizzes, the ones that are supposed to tell you which Bachelorette contestant you're most like or what dream job you’re supposed to have when really, they just tell you that you're some piece of generic nonsense.

"Good things happen to those who hustle."

"Don’t think about it, just get it done."

These phrases hold us back, contradicting themselves and making us feel stuck. These trite little sayings create a dichotomy, a one-two punch of "do it right!" and "don't think!" (How can you do it right if you don't think?) They instill a sense of urgency, a desire to be perfect now, to be the best at what we do right this minute.

They create a negative feedback loop, one where we feel bad about ourselves, so we look for the next motivational quote, the next piece of wisdom to make us feel better. Then when we find it, we feel bad about ourselves again.

They're all, "You go, Glenn Coco!" in front of you and "Boo, you whore." behind your back.

And the worst part is—we believe them.

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We all know better than to believe our own bullshit.

Yet our feeds and heads are bombarded with the pretty little things, dissipating their lovely perfume and feeding our minds their tiny cakes of doubt.

Don’t get me wrong—it’s not that we need to do away with motivational quotes and sayings altogether. I love a good quote, and there's nothing inherently wrong with coming up with a cute phrase.

But the world doesn't need more cliches. 

What we need are empathy and feeling. What we need is the truth, ugly and all. We need the gift without the wrapping. We need the bedhead and no makeup and morning breath of your thoughts and ideas, not the shiny Pinterest version.

What if you put down the pumpkin spice latte and the inspirational mood board and spoke from your heart? Speak from your pain and your joy. Say what you want to say, not what you think will be popular. Put down the cliches and say the thing that needs to be said.

Say the thing that needs to be heard.

We need this honesty now more than ever. In a culture where brands with hair influence us and auto-tuned voices are the siren call, our dopamine-addicted minds need the detox that only raw honesty can give. We need the truth of our thoughts and our feelings, not the prettily-crafted rendition of our lives. We need each other to be real, to say what we mean, and to be brave enough to say it completely and imperfectly.

Once we can break free of cliche and set ourselves free from the chains of perfection, once we can shout the permission to be brave, bold, and authenticity real—and then actually accept each other as we are—only then can we begin to see the human in each other, the common heartbeat that connects us all. Only then can we slow down and begin to soothe the wounds of our world. 

So, please. Don't call me boss babe, and no, I won't hustle. I'll take my sweet time.

☐

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Wanna Flow With Me?

I’ve been studying, tinkering with, and writing about the flow state and deep work for over a year. I’ll babble on about it, I’m sure, but wanna see the real thing in action?

Join me for a Flow Club session! I host co-working small groups online that harness the power of collective focus to help get work done. Brief, low-pressure intros set intentions, then we work on mute to a curated playlist by moi (with celebratory confetti every time you check something off your list!). We wrap it up by celebrating each other’s wins. It’s pretty awesome, for real.

Here’s my schedule if you want to check it out. Try a session with a month free trial pass, no strings attached. Seriously. (I don’t work for them, hosting is volunteer-led!)

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… I Can Tell That We Are Gonna Be Friends 🎶

Let’s wrap this up with a playlist I’ve been digging this week.

Till next week! ✨

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